I wannas sexs uuuuu
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
