I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
