I must be too annoying 4 u.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
