so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
