We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
