I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
