I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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