Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I would fuck him just for his dog
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
