oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
