I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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