i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
