I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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