I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I need to sanitize my soul.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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