Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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