I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
