I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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