Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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