You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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