i don't like sucking hair
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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