i don't plan on having that self control this summer
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Such a big mess for such a small penis
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
