Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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