I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
