getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
