something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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