apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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