So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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