he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
