Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize