So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
