More tranny stories later!
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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