I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
