she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Sober January is a disaster.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I want a musical about memes.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
