we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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