Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
