i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
