i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
