I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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