He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
