girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize