Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
