just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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