Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
