Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
