why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The air was thick with penises
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
