so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
