They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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