you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
