I didn't shave. On purpose
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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