Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
