You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
