I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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