who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
