I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
