Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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