we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
