Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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