Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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