She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
