TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
