The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
