We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
