so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
