how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
