if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
