Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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