I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
