then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
